Satisfaction Index

Satisfaction IndexHere’s a valuable life lesson: print the graphic you see here and put it up on your desk or fridge or the wall facing your toilet. This is what your future looks like. Here’s how it works:

Do you see the cute little ‘O’ standing at the corner of Satisfaction and Time? That’s when you will start something new in your life – something small, most likely. As with everything new, your satisfaction levels will jump up like a kitten on a trampoline until you get used to this new adventure. That’s when you reach A. Here the satisfaction levels are pretty much constant. Maybe they even drop a little before they flat-line for a couple of years. Your new stuff no longer occupies all of your waking thoughts, but it does make your life a bit more comfortable than you were used to.

Meet the turning point, X. This is where you see something better come along. While this ‘better’ something occupies your mind and turns it into an obsessive freak, your satisfaction levels slowly fade away to nothing until you finally acquire the ‘better’ something. Let’s call it an upgrade, B. The story repeats now: satisfaction skyrockets and then stays constant (C). And all is well for a few years.

One fine day you will arrive at another turning point. I call it the Point of No Return. By upgrading, you pretty much neutered your chances of ever getting something even better, because you blew your money (or your last chance) by going for B. So after point Y, you will kick yourself in the buns, screaming “Why? Why couldn’t I have waited a little while longer?” Needless to say, satisfaction crumbles dramatically until you find yourself in despair until the end of time.

Feel free to apply this proven and tested, doctor-recommended, NASA-certified formula to any part of your life. Apple devices, digital cameras, cars, career choices, tattoos and hairstyles are some examples I would suggest. Girlfriends and kids are not. Imaginary girlfriends: acceptable. Here are some of my own examples.

Satisfaction Index - HomeSatisfaction Index - TVSatisfaction Index - Gadgets

Note to aspiring thieves: All electronic devices, expensive equipment, property values mentioned in this article are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any real-life possessions whatsoever. Any chance encounter where you may witness me in possession of any of the aforementioned objects is purely coincidental. Also please note that as of last week, I have moved to Tokyo with all of my imaginary, expensive belongings.

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