Letters to Sia: Year Two. Confessions.

  1. I have cried way too many times since you were born. More than I ever did before. Or Mom, for that matter.
  2. I have used you as an excuse to get out of social events, beg for extra chocolate-mints at Olive Garden, and cut in line at the post office.
  3. I have no idea what you say sometimes, but I smile and nod along. Mom doesn’t know.
  4. I once googled “GPS tracker for kids”.
  5. I have occasionally spent a few extra minutes hiding in the bathroom, sometimes wished you would sleep all day, and once dreaded a long weekend because the daycare was closed.
  6. I don’t think anyone else can raise you better than Mom and I can. See #5.
  7. I don’t give Mom enough credit for taking care of you the way she does. Or at least frequently enough.
  8. Whenever someone says you look just like Mom, I cry a little on the inside.
  9. I sometimes wish appadams weren’t your favorite food, just so that I get to finish the bowl.
  10. I always thought you would outsmart me by the age of 10 or 12. You counted to ten in Spanish, long before you turned two. I only know uno, dos, tres, cuatro and cinco.
  11. I deliberately say “I love you” a little too fast for you to understand, just to keep hearing you say “i laa loo”.
  12. I have been repeatedly beaten, bruised, kicked in the groin, and punched in the face. By you.
  13. I think you have gained a little weight.
  14. I am secretly plotting to turn you into a big fan of Batman, video games and zombie fiction.
  15. I spent months trying to keep the color pink out of your life.
  16. I sometimes stood outside your door, listening to you crying. When you finally fell asleep, I ran off to watch Netflix.
  17. I have – against all my will – begun to gradually enjoy shopping. For you. Don’t tell Mom.
  18. I sometimes fell asleep trying to put you to bed. Okay, several times.
  19. Once I went to work with banana smeared on my pants.
  20. ‘Butt’ was among the first 10 words you learned to say. I am responsible.
  21. I almost dropped you once. Just kidding. Twice. Actually, a lot. But I haven’t stopped throwing you into the air and catching you.
  22. You are the person I am most terrified of.
  23. And now for some shocking confessions. My apologies in advance:
    1. The moon doesn’t go to sleep.
    2. We don’t run out of cheese every third day.
    3. The iPhone is in my other pocket.
    4. Papa is not always ‘too tired’ to play. Sometimes he is just lazy.
    5. I use YouTube to entertain you more often than I like to admit.
  24. I love you a teeny-tiny bit more than I love Mom.


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